Week 1-3 Review by Good Cop Bad Cop
The Outsiders
OrakPown’ed (3-0)
The Good Cop:Any team that combines the forces of Megatron and Matthew is bound to do damage, but this is ridiculous. Matthatron/Megaford has 6 TDs through the first 3 weeks and show no signs of slowing down. If this team can stay healthy, look for them to be the favorites to win the championship.
The Bad Cop:UGH! This guy again! Seriously 190 plus every game? I hate, so much, his name and how fitting it seems to be. Can Megatron's ankle withstand all the transforming it takes to make those big plays... I mean really all I can do here is be mad his team is so good.
Code 7 (2-1)
The Good Cop:So far so good for the new kid on the block. Strong QB play from Big Ben, a stable of receiving running backs, and the emergence of Jimmy Graham has provided this team with enough points to win. If Colston can come back and avoid being injured by a stiff Brees (see what I did there?) this could be a low seated playoff team.
The Bad Cop:Hey, tell Jordy I said Hi. Code 7 lost to Big O.(period)... Decent enough team , let's just hope Big Ben gets plenty of rapin' done so he can start throwin' more TDs.
Polk High Panthers (1-2)
The Good Cop:You would expect a better record from a team who has the third most points three weeks in, but thems the breaks. If I can fix my RB situation I feel good the rest of the way forward. If not, I will have to rely on one of the best QB duos in the league to get it done.
The Bad Cop:You would expect a better record from a team who has wom wom wom wom wom wom ...better get ready for frank gore to get hurt. This guy lost to a giant rat from Ashland who had two old dudes starting and a guy named Dez.("no homo")
The Muenchies (1-2)
The Good Cop:If Kolb heats up this team can be a surprise. Kellen Winslow is still upright, so that is a good sign. Greg Olsen is on his roster too, that is a better sign. Steady production from his WRs and RBs will keep him in the running.
The Bad Cop:Kolb's not going to heat up. Hillis has the hoontah virus. Man i bet you wish Adrian P was worth a first round draft pick about now. Bottom line is Colt McCoy is your other Qb. At least you beat Big O.
Captain Stabbin’ (0-3)
The Good Cop:Yahoo’s best draft winner has struggled, yes. Injuries to Gates and Moreno have taken their toll. Though, he still has the pieces to do some damage, but the pride of Louisa better get the ball rolling this week. When Gates gets healthy, look for Rivers to come alive as well.
The Bad Cop:Yo ho ho ho and a bottle of suck. Look for the colts current QB, whoever that guy is, to forget that Reggie Wayne is their best chance of scoring. Grim news : Stevie J's groin isnt going to last all season my friend. And boy o boy is Antonio Gates going to be disappointing. That said, MacGayhee has taken over for moreno who cant seem to get well and Rivers isnt just "in a funk" thats coach talk for "he is terrible now".
4th & Schlong (0-3)
The Good Cop:No one wants to start off 0-3, but if there is a team that can pull up from this nosedive it is the Schlongers. The amount of options is the burden for this team. Both New England tight-ends are a good thing. Playing matchups for 3 equal running backs can either bring in the most points possible or leaving a shit ton of points on the bench. Look for the Schlong to start throbbing soon.
The Bad Cop:It's almost like this guy wants to start out 0-3. Alot of players from bad teams here. A Patriots TE is not going to win you any games my friend. Shed Team 6 came up short this last weekend and you had a win within your grasp, however 'Gronk's performance wasnt enough.
Fist City Winners (ALL STARS)
The Cunt Returner(3-0)
The Good Cop:240 pts in week 2 should be a good indication of how nasty this team can be. A solid team all around offensively and defensively. He has plenty of receivers scoring big points. Opposing teams can’t seem to Hassel the Back so far. I see CR in the final showdown.
The Bad Cop:Sure he may have decimated the Panthers, but I’m not buying the hype. Wide receivers are nice, but that is where the buck stops. The white Shaka Smart better rally the troop cause as Gonzalez and Hasselback are due at the Sleepshop any minute now. That’s a Logan’s Run reference fucker.
S. Taylor St Rats(3-0)
The Good Cop:Right out of the gate these guys take out the commish, tarnish the taint, and jam a new blowhole for the Supreme. I do not want to play this team once he finds a better QB. STSR took a risk with Steve Smith and probably does not regret it thus far. Somehow Matt the Rat seems to find high scoring IDPs every year. This rat is in the race for the cheese.
The Bad Cop:Ahh yes, my first loss of the season. Of course, Sproles blew up like Peyton Manning’s neck. How did “Matty Ice” get more receiving threats and get worse? That’s a question best answered by Chad Henne. Also, I’m not sure if even a Houston Texan fan can tell you who James Casey is. Someone put Dez Bryant on a milk carton. His cocoa butter dealer is starting to fear the worst.
Shed Team 6 (3-0)
The Good Cop:Could be the Shed’s best fantasy year ever, but they killed Kenny in week 3. The Shed has pulled off 3 wins with strong showings from Dew Bees and the McCoy. The loss of Britt could hurt but it sure didn’t matter in week 3. If the Shed’s Defense picks up or better options are found he could go all the way this season, like he did with Boogie last night. All that seems to matter to this team is that he beat Supreme first thing. Watch out if Felix Jones starts producing more as the season goes on.
The Bad Cop:Saying this could be your best year could mean you finish 11th. Boosh! The names are flashy, but history repeats itself. The house of cards has already begun to crumble under the weight of Kenny Britt’s rap sheet. I like Felix in the Dallas run game, but that super glue holding his joints together is being put to the test.
Will Reign Superm(1-2)
The Good Cop:Supreme had a nice recovery from his early season beat down. T Braids and Vincent “the price” Jackson have put up mega pts (see week 2). Supreem stabbed the Cap’n good. Losing J Charles hurt but Will Rain pulled out a win. I don’t expect Dirty to have many games where players like D branch and B wells score 0, so I look for this team to have a few more wins as the season goes.
The Bad Cop:Someone get this man a running back. What happened to Charles in Charge? It got cancelled! Yeah yeah, you got Brady and Witten and some decent players at wide receiver, but you can’t believe that is enough to take home the belt? Keep searching the waiver wires for your next RB, maybe you’d like to double dip in some D’angelo Williams?
Big O(1-2)
The Good Cop:O my, this big ass robot has had it rough thus far. Vick hasn’t quite produced as expected but I don’t expect that to continue. O punched out a win from Code 7 in week 2 and with some WR help or a well protected Vick he could do some damage. Maybe Rex will get sexier for O as the weeks pass.
The Bad Cop:Someone had to pay for me starting 0-2, sorry had to be you buddy. I think Wang Computers must have made your mech-suit, because you are royally dicked the rest of the season if Vick doesn’t turn it up. Sexy Rexy might throw 3 TDs a game, but you have to factor in the 2 fumbles and 3 interceptions he will be responsible for. If you had any more Jacksons in your backfield I’d start calling you Michael. King of pop? More like Jester of the Sundays.
Golden Taint(0-3)
The Good Cop:There could be a golden lining between this teams nuts and ass if Welker keeps up those numbers, but the rest of this team needs to be firing on ALL cylinders. Chris Johnson needs at least one 100yd game and don’t see why he wont get that in the future, a snake in the grass he could be. Maurice JD and Owen Daniels have been pumping hard for the Taint but they need some support. Bradford can post some points but needs to keep his hands on the ball. All the elements are there for a win…
The Bad Cop:Wes Welker puts up his body weight in points and you still lose? Maybe it’s time to move Chris Johnson to any team that will have him. I heard the Lollipop guild was hiring, they may be interested in their speedy delivery department. Looks like a sophomore slump is building for Sam Bradford. He gets Amendola back, so he will have at least one receiver worth owning in his arsenal.
And there you have it gentlemens. Please feel free to post your comments and replies. Let the cops know how you feel. Hopefully we will be back with a Greensville Update in a few weeks.
1 comment:
Well done. Had me laughing. Code 7 out.
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